The most common problem in relationships between couples and at work is faulty communication. Conflict will always be present where human beings are together but appropriate communication can determine a positive outcome such as mutual understanding.
The purpose of communication is to:
Express our needs and wants
Know and understand what others need and want from us
Engage in healthy, constructive dialogue rather than arguments
Get to know others better and at deeper levels where there is a need
Inspire, value and encourage others
Breaking and making new brain connections about ourselves and others where necessary
Remove any doubts and insecurities where necessary
How would you rate your current communication skills with your partner out of ten with ten being the highest?
You can try out the following six-step full proof recipe for effective communication:
Observe concrete actions of another that affect your well – being. This focuses on an action of a person rather than his or her character and is far less threatening. (“When you shout at me…” or “When you accuse me…”)
State how you feel in relation to what you observe. It is observing without evaluating. (“I feel frustrated, hurt or rejected…”)
Express the needs, values, and desires that create that feeling. (“I need you to talk to me in a soft, non – accusing manner…”)
Make a clear request for a concrete action you require from the other person in order to enrich your life. (“Will you please lower your voice and tell me one practical thing I can do to make you feel more comfortable with the situation.”)
Don’t labour the point by nagging or accusing; it forfeits the purpose. (“yes but last week you…”)
Focus on the specific situation in a single-minded way, without referring to other situations in the past.
These steps have to be practiced diligently in any communication situation. So, perhaps you need to keep a notebook at hand and start trying to perfect them first in your communication with your intimate relationships. Good luck! It is possible to attain excellent communication skills.