The most common problem in relationships between couples and at work is faulty communication. Conflict will always be present where human beings are together but appropriate communication can determine a positive outcome such as mutual understanding.

The purpose of communication is to:

  • Express our needs and wants
  • Know and understand what others need and want from us
  • Engage in healthy, constructive dialogue rather than arguments
  • Get to know others better and at deeper levels where there is a need
  • Inspire, value and encourage others
  • Breaking and making new brain connections about ourselves and others where necessary
  • Remove any doubts and insecurities where necessary
  • How would you rate your current communication skills with your partner out of ten with ten being the highest?

You can try out the following six-step full proof recipe for effective communication:

  • Observe concrete actions of another that affect your well – being. This focuses on an action of a person rather than his or her character and is far less threatening. (“When you shout at me…” or “When you accuse me…”)
  • State how you feel in relation to what you observe. It is observing without evaluating. (“I feel frustrated, hurt or rejected…”)
  • Express the needs, values, and desires that create that feeling. (“I need you to talk to me in a soft, non – accusing manner…”)
  • Make a clear request for a concrete action you require from the other person in order to enrich your life. (“Will you please lower your voice and tell me one practical thing I can do to make you feel more comfortable with the situation.”)
  • Don’t labour the point by nagging or accusing; it forfeits the purpose. (“yes but last week you…”)
  • Focus on the specific situation in a single-minded way, without referring to other situations in the past.

These steps have to be practiced diligently in any communication situation. So, perhaps you need to keep a notebook at hand and start trying to perfect them first in your communication with your intimate relationships. Good luck! It is possible to attain excellent communication skills.