The most common problem in relationships between couples and at work is faulty communication. Conflict will always be present where human beings are together but appropriate communication can determine a positive outcome such as mutual understanding.
The purpose of communication is to:
- Express our needs and wants
- Know and understand what others need and want from us
- Engage in healthy, constructive dialogue rather than arguments
- Get to know others better and at deeper levels where there is a need
- Inspire, value and encourage others
- Breaking and making new brain connections about ourselves and others where necessary
- Remove any doubts and insecurities where necessary
- How would you rate your current communication skills with your partner out of ten with ten being the highest?
You can try out the following six-step full proof recipe for effective communication:
- Observe concrete actions of another that affect your well – being. This focuses on an action of a person rather than his or her character and is far less threatening. (“When you shout at me…” or “When you accuse me…”)
- State how you feel in relation to what you observe. It is observing without evaluating. (“I feel frustrated, hurt or rejected…”)
- Express the needs, values, and desires that create that feeling. (“I need you to talk to me in a soft, non – accusing manner…”)
- Make a clear request for a concrete action you require from the other person in order to enrich your life. (“Will you please lower your voice and tell me one practical thing I can do to make you feel more comfortable with the situation.”)
- Don’t labour the point by nagging or accusing; it forfeits the purpose. (“yes but last week you…”)
- Focus on the specific situation in a single-minded way, without referring to other situations in the past.
These steps have to be practiced diligently in any communication situation. So, perhaps you need to keep a notebook at hand and start trying to perfect them first in your communication with your intimate relationships. Good luck! It is possible to attain excellent communication skills.