My blog of 19 September 2015 explained why we think like we do. As a continuation of that, I would like to remind the reader that:
We all get damaged as children due to the faulty thinking habits of our parents. This is a categorical statement I stand and fall by. The reason for this firm opinion is based on all the psychological research I have done throughout my entire life, but also by living a life that was filled with immense challenges. Through these uncomfortable and painful “nudges” I made it a life task to discover exactly where my parents were damaged as children, where they damaged me and where I, in turn, damaged my own four children.
It was like doing a complex puzzle. I took the long road to freedom and went many, many laps through the proverbial desert. Part of this was due to a rather rebellious nature, but in the end, it served me well. I can now truly say that it helped me formulate a crisp, clear life purpose. The latter is to facilitate the life paths of my clients towards victory in quick, crisp ways; this refers to those that really want to run and fly!
In my clinical opinion as a psychologist, most people do not take the trouble to place their ways of thinking, their thinking habits, under a microscope for close scrutiny and investigation. The first reason for this is that in general people most people are completely unaware that this is crucial for experiencing a life of happiness and fulfillment. The second reason is that people prefer to focus their primary attention on the hustle and bustle of everyday life; very often crisis management. The third reason is that people tend to avoid introspection because they do not realize how important it is.
Excellent reading matter in this respect is Stephen Covey’s book, “Seven habits for highly effective people.” He has a habit that he calls “Putting first things first.” Another recommendation is chapter 1 from a book by Carolyn Myss, “Why people don’t heal and how they can.” These two chapters were life changing for me and did not take long to read! One certainly does not have to be a formidable scholar in order to do this.
If we make self-discovery and a journey towards increasing self-awareness our primary business, the results are astounding. We discover a proverbial treasure chest within ourselves. Yes, we sometimes have to open wounds to the bone in order to cleanse and heal, but the courage this takes is well worth the effort. Band-aid strips don’t do the trick. I can say the effort is so, so worth its while.
Through the journey within, we become equipped to understand why we think, feel and act in specific ways; either negative or positive. It is our most important tool to create wealth in every aspect of our lives. We cultivate skills to overcome blockages on personal, relationship, work, and most importantly spiritual levels. It is a pathway to bliss. However, nobody can force us to do this. We always have a choice.
Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist who survived Auschwitz concentration camp, was of the opinion that what makes us uniquely human is our ability to choose and the freedom to take responsibility. Frankl’s book, Man’s search for meaning, is a “must read” for every human being at some point in their lives. He developed a unique model in psychology in terms of turning suffering into meaning.
Long before Frankl, the Greek philosopher, Descartes, said: “I think, therefore I am.” In other words, I experience consciousness only because I think and of course can make individual choices. In the worlds of nature and animals, it is different. There is no choice and it is a matter of pre-programming and instinct.
Answer the following question:
- Describe who you are in terms of your strengths and weaknesses.
- What could you do to utilize your strengths and decrease your weaknesses?